TOP 10: WORST MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN THEIR 20’S

THE DESK OF THE HOOD AUTHOR, MR.10                                                       9 APRIL 2025

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WELCOME 10,
WELCOME TO IN10MACY.

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FIRST THINGS FIRST — THANK YOU.
THE LOVE FROM OUR VERY FIRST MIDWEEK POST LAST WEEK?
UNREAL.
WE FELT IT.
AND WE DON’T TAKE THAT LIGHTLY.
WE SAY THANK YOU,
'CAUSE WE GOT MANNERS.

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WE SEE THE GUIDE HIT DIFFERENT.
IT TOUCHED SPOTS
SOME OF YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW NEEDED TOUCHING.
TRUTH GOT IN.
AND GROWTH STARTED HAPPENING.

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THIS IS YOUR INDICATOR.
YOUR GUT FEELING.
YOUR SIGN TO GET CONNECTED.
(SUBSCRIBE — TOP LEFT CORNER. DO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO.)

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BUT AS YOU KNOW,

THIS SPACE AIN’T JUST FOR THE BROTHERS.

IN10MACY IS INTIMATE —

AND INTIMACY DON’T HAVE A GENDER.

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SO LET’S BE CLEAR:
WE LOOK OUT FOR OUR SISTERS, TOO.

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BECAUSE BUILDING YOUR 10-LIFE?
IT DON’T STOP WITH THE FELLAS.
IT’S FOR THE WOMEN WHO KNOW
THEY WERE BUILT FOR MORE.

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THEME: BE THE BOSS YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN INSPIRED TO BE. 

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THIS IS IN10MACY —
A TEN-STAR PLATFORM
DELIVERING TEN-STAR STORIES
THROUGH THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE.

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WELCOME, LADIES.
TO THE TOP 10 WORST MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN THEIR 20s.

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PUT THE LIPSTICK ON.
IT’S GETTING SERIOUS.

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#10 — CONFUSING ATTENTION FOR VALUE

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THE DMs?
THE LIKES?
THE FIRE EMOJIS?
THE “YOU SO FINES” IN YOUR COMMENTS?

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IT MIGHT FEEL GOOD…
BUT DON’T GET IT TWISTED —
THAT’S ATTENTION, NOT AFFIRMATION.

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SEE, IN YOUR 20s,
IT’S EASY TO CONFUSE BEING SEEN
WITH BEING VALUED.

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BUT THE SAME PEOPLE THAT CLAP FOR YOU TODAY?
THEY’LL SCROLL RIGHT PAST YOU TOMORROW.
BECAUSE ATTENTION IS CHEAP.
AND VALUE?
VALUE IS RARE.

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ATTENTION FEEDS THE EGO.
BUT VALUE FEEDS YOUR LIFE.

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IF EVERYBODY HAS ACCESS TO YOU,
YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF —
WHAT EXACTLY ARE THEY GETTING?
AND WHAT ARE YOU LOSING?

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YOU WEREN’T BUILT TO BE CONSUMED.
YOU WERE BUILT TO BE CHERISHED.
TO BE CHALLENGED.
TO BE CHOSEN — NOT JUST SEEN.

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MR.10 SAYS THIS WITH LOVE:
THE REAL ONES WON’T JUST WATCH YOU SHINE —
THEY’LL HELP YOU BUILD THE LIGHT.

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SO DON’T SPEND YOUR YOUTH
TRYING TO BE DESIRED BY EVERYONE.
SPEND IT BECOMING
A WOMAN WHO CAN’T BE REPLACED BY ANYONE.

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REMEMBER:
ATTENTION IS FLASH.
VALUE IS FLAME.
AND ONE BURNS A WHOLE LOT LONGER.

THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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‍#9 — CHOOSING LOVE OVER SELF-RESPECT

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LOVE AIN’T SUPPOSED TO BREAK YOU.

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BUT TOO MANY WOMEN IN THEIR 20s
END UP CHOOSING LOVE THAT COSTS THEM THEMSELVES.

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MR.10 DONE SEEN IT:
YOU MEET A DUDE,
YOU SEE THE POTENTIAL,
YOU GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT —
AND THEN GIVE HIM A SECOND CHANCE,
AND A THIRD,
AND A PIECE OF YOUR PEACE
EVERY TIME.

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BUT IF LOVING HIM
MEANS LOSING YOURSELF,
THAT AIN’T LOVE — THAT’S SELF-SACRIFICE IN DISGUISE.

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SEE, SELF-RESPECT ISN’T ABOUT BEING COLD OR UNTOUCHABLE.
IT’S ABOUT KNOWING WHAT YOU DESERVE
AND NOT ENTERTAINING ANYTHING THAT DIMINISHES THAT.

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'CAUSE THE TRUTH IS —
THE MORE YOU ACCEPT LESS,
THE MORE YOU TEACH PEOPLE
THAT “LESS” IS ENOUGH FOR YOU.

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AND LET’S BE REAL —
YOU CAN’T FIX A MAN WITH YOUR LOYALTY
WHEN HE AIN’T EVEN READY TO BE LOYAL TO HIMSELF.

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LOVE DON’T REQUIRE YOU TO SHRINK.
LOVE DON’T DEMAND YOU TO STAY SILENT.
AND LOVE DAMN SURE DON’T LOOK LIKE
BEGGING TO BE TREATED RIGHT.

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REMEMBER:
REAL LOVE WILL HONOR YOUR BOUNDARIES,
NOT TEST THEM.
REAL LOVE WILL RISE TO MEET YOU —
NOT DRAIN YOU.

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KEEP YOUR STANDARDS HIGH
AND YOUR PEACE HIGHER.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#8 — TRYING TO BE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE

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LOOK —
YOU AIN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THE THERAPIST,
THE HEALER,
THE HYPE WOMAN,
THE MOMMA,
THE GIRLFRIEND,
AND THE CEO ALL AT THE SAME TIME
FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN’T EVEN SHOW UP FOR THEMSELVES.

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MR.10 DONE SEEN WOMEN
BURN THEMSELVES OUT TRYNA POUR INTO EVERYONE
WITH AN EMPTY CUP.

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YOU WANT TO BE THERE FOR PEOPLE — I GET IT.
BUT YOU CAN’T BE EVERYBODY’S SAFE PLACE
IF YOU NEVER FEEL SAFE YOURSELF.

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THERE’S POWER IN GIVING.
BUT BABY GIRL, THERE’S EVEN MORE POWER
IN KNOWING WHEN TO SAY NO.

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AND DON’T LET GUILT TRICK YOU INTO THINKING
YOU OWE EVERYBODY ACCESS TO YOU.
YOU DON’T.

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YOU DESERVE TO REST.
YOU DESERVE TO BE HELD.
YOU DESERVE TO EXIST WITHOUT HAVING TO FIX EVERYONE AROUND YOU.

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SOME PEOPLE DON’T WANT HEALING.
THEY WANT HELPERS.
AND SOME PEOPLE DON’T LOVE YOU —
THEY LOVE WHAT YOU DO FOR THEM.

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REMEMBER:
YOU CAN BE A GOOD PERSON
AND STILL PUT YOURSELF FIRST.

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YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE —
JUST BE EVERYTHING FOR YOU.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#7 — IGNORING FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE

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REAL TALK?
DEPENDENCE AIN’T SECURITY.
AND BEING “TAKEN CARE OF”
AIN’T ALWAYS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

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MR.10 AIN’T KNOCKIN’ LOVE.
AIN’T KNOCKIN’ PARTNERSHIP.
BUT IF YOUR FINANCES LIVE IN SOMEBODY ELSE’S POCKET?
YOU GAVE AWAY YOUR POWER BEFORE YOU EVEN BUILT IT.

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TOO MANY WOMEN IN THEIR 20s
HAVE DREAMS, TALENT, SKILLS —
BUT THEY WAITING ON A MAN, A MENTOR,
OR A MIRACLE TO OPEN THE DOOR.

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NO. KICK THE DOOR IN.

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BUILD YOUR OWN BAGS.
LEARN THE GAME.
STACK YOUR OWN.
INVEST IN YOURSELF BEFORE ANYBODY ELSE.

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YOU NEVER WANNA BE IN A POSITION
WHERE YOU GOTTA STAY
'CAUSE YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO LEAVE.

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TRUTH IS, FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AIN’T JUST ABOUT MONEY.
IT’S ABOUT OPTIONS.
IT’S ABOUT FREEDOM.
IT’S ABOUT WALKING AWAY FROM WHAT AIN’T SERVING YOU
WITHOUT FEAR OF “HOW WILL I SURVIVE?”

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REMEMBER:
MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY.
MAKE YOUR OWN RULES.
AND MAKE SURE YOUR FUTURE
DON’T NEED NOBODY TO VALIDATE IT.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#6 — ROMANTICIZING STRUGGLE OVER BUILDING STABILITY

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SOME OF Y’ALL BEEN FED A LIE —
THAT IF IT AIN’T COMPLICATED,
IT AIN’T REAL.

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YOU THINK LOVE GOTTA HURT A LITTLE.
HE GOTTA BE BROKEN,
YOU GOTTA FIX HIM.
HE GOTTA COME WITH BAGGAGE,
YOU GOTTA HELP HIM UNPACK IT.
THE CHAOS?
YOU CALL IT CHEMISTRY.

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BUT LET ME TELL YOU STRAIGHT —
STRUGGLE LOVE ISN’T A PERSONALITY TYPE.
IT’S A PATTERN.

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AND IF YOU KEEP GETTING TURNED OFF
BY STABILITY,
PEACE,
AND A MAN WHO GOT HIS LIFE TOGETHER —
THAT’S NOT A PREFERENCE.
THAT’S A PROBLEM.

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SEE, MR.10 AIN’T SAYING YOU CAN’T GROW WITH SOMEONE.
BUT IF YOUR IDEA OF LOVE IS BUILT ON SACRIFICE,
TOLERANCE,
AND “RIDING THROUGH THE WORST”
WITHOUT EVER SEEING THE BEST?

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YOU’RE ROMANTICIZING STRUGGLE
BECAUSE YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU WORTHY.

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IT DON’T.

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REAL LOVE?
IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAN ENDURE.
IT’S ABOUT HOW MUCH PEACE YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BREATHE IN.

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STABILITY AIN’T BORING —
IT’S SECURE.
AND SOMETIMES,
THE ONLY REASON YOU KEEP CHOOSING CHAOS
IS 'CAUSE YOU HAVEN’T HEALED ENOUGH
TO FEEL SAFE WITHOUT IT.

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REMEMBER:
LOVE DON’T HAVE TO BE LOUD TO BE POWERFUL.
IT DON’T HAVE TO BREAK YOU TO GROW YOU.

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CHOOSE PEACE OVER PATTERNS.
THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#5 — OVER-SEXUALIZING YOURSELF TO FEEL EMPOWERED

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THIS GONNA RUFFLE A FEW FEATHERS,
BUT MR.10 AIN’T HERE TO BE LIKED —
HE’S HERE TO KEEP IT REAL.

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THERE’S A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN OWNING YOUR SEXUALITY…
AND OUTSOURCING YOUR POWER TO IT.

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LOOK —
IF YOU FEEL SEXY?
OWN THAT.
IF YOU WANNA SHOW OUT?
DO YOU.

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BUT IF YOU NEED TO SHOW SKIN
TO FEEL VALIDATED…
IF ATTENTION IS YOUR MAIN SOURCE OF CONFIDENCE…
IF YOU GOTTA KEEP TURNING YOURSELF INTO A “FANTASY”
TO FEEL LIKE YOU MATTER?

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THAT AIN’T EMPOWERMENT.
THAT’S DEPENDENCE IN DISGUISE.

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'CAUSE THE HARDEST THING TO MAINTAIN
IS THE IMAGE YOU BUILD FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

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AND IF YOUR WORTH
IS BUILT ON HOW MANY EYES YOU CAN CATCH —
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY STOP LOOKING?

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SEE, WHAT YOU SHOW TO THE WORLD
SHOULD COME FROM WHOLENESS,
NOT WOUNDS.

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AND IT’S WILD 'CAUSE
YOU OUT HERE THINKING YOU GOT THE POWER…
BUT SOMETIMES,
YOU’RE JUST PARTICIPATING IN YOUR OWN OBJECTIFICATION.

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YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE A BRAND.
YOU WERE MEANT TO BE A WHOLE WOMAN.

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REMEMBER:
SEXUALITY IS A GIFT —
BUT IT AIN’T A SUBSTITUTE FOR SELF-WORTH.
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SEEN TO BE POWERFUL.
YOU JUST NEED TO BE CENTERED.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#4 — AVOIDING SOLITUDE BY STAYING IN SITUATIONSHIPS

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YOU AIN’T IN LOVE.
YOU’RE JUST SCARED TO BE ALONE.

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MR.10 SAYING THIS WITH FULL RESPECT —
A LOT OF YOU STAY TIED TO HALF-LOVE
BECAUSE YOU’RE AFRAID OF FULL SILENCE.

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YOU TEXT HIM KNOWING HE AIN’T GOOD FOR YOU.
YOU PULL UP KNOWING HE CAN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED.
YOU ACCEPT “WHAT ARE WE?”
JUST TO AVOID “WHY AM I STILL HERE?”

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THAT’S NOT LOVE.
THAT’S ESCAPE.

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AND SITUATIONSHIPS?
THEY FEEL SAFE IN THE MOMENT —
'CAUSE YOU AIN’T GOTTA COMMIT TO HIM
AND YOU AIN’T GOTTA COMMIT TO HEALING EITHER.

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BUT THE COST?
YOUR TIME.
YOUR ENERGY.
YOUR SELF-TRUST.

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EVERY TIME YOU STAY WHERE YOU KNOW YOU DON’T BELONG,
YOU TEACH YOURSELF TO SETTLE.
AND THE LONGER YOU STAY,
THE HARDER IT IS TO HEAR YOUR OWN VOICE.

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SEE, SOLITUDE AIN’T THE ENEMY.
IT’S THE GYM FOR YOUR SELF-WORTH.
IT’S WHERE YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOUR OWN PRESENCE
SO YOU DON’T KEEP RENTING IT OUT
TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T DESERVE IT.

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REMEMBER:
IF HE’S NOT CLAIMING YOU —
STOP CLAIMING HIM IN YOUR SPIRIT.

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YOU DON’T NEED A WARM BODY NEXT TO YOU
TO VALIDATE YOUR WORTH.

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SOMETIMES THE HARDEST SEASON
IS THE ONE WHERE YOU CHOOSE YOU
AND NO ONE ELSE.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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🎤 THE HANDOFF

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MR.10 STEPPING BACK.
AND IT’S ONLY RIGHT I PASS THE MIC
TO A WOMAN WHO KNOWS THE JOURNEY FROM THE INSIDE.

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SHE'S WALKED THROUGH HEALING.
SHE'S MASTERED HER STILLNESS.
AND SHE SPEAKS FROM EXPERIENCE — NOT FROM EGO.

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SHE IS POISE. SHE IS PRESENCE.
SHE IS POWER IN A WHISPER.

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AND FROM THIS POINT FORWARD,
YOU'RE IN MRS.10'S HANDS.

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TAKE NOTES.
TAKE BREATHS.
TAKE THIS SERIOUS.

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#3 — Calling Your Coping Mechanisms ‘Personality’

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By Mrs.10

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YOU EVER NOTICE
HOW THE THINGS THAT ONCE PROTECTED YOU
START TO LIMIT YOU
WHEN YOU REFUSE TO OUTGROW THEM?

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YOU SAY YOU’RE GUARDED…
BUT REALLY? YOU’RE JUST HURT.
YOU SAY YOU’RE UNAVAILABLE…
BUT REALLY? YOU’RE JUST EXHAUSTED FROM GIVING TO THE WRONG PEOPLE.
YOU SAY YOU’RE A “SAVAGE”...
BUT REALLY? THAT’S JUST ARMOR.
DISGUISED AS POWER.

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IT’S EASIER TO SLAP A NAME ON THE BEHAVIOR
THAN TO ADMIT WHERE IT CAME FROM.
SO WE HIDE IN LABELS.
AND CALL IT PERSONALITY.
BUT SOMETIMES THE “PERSONALITY”
IS JUST PAIN THAT NEVER GOT DEALT WITH.

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I’M NOT SAYING YOU’RE NOT STRONG.
I’M SAYING YOU MIGHT BE
Tired of being strong and calling it confidence.
Tired of being numb and calling it peace.
Tired of being unavailable and calling it standards.

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IF YOU'VE BUILT A WHOLE IDENTITY
AROUND A VERSION OF YOU
THAT WAS BORN IN SURVIVAL MODE —
IT MIGHT BE TIME TO REINTRODUCE YOURSELF
TO THE WOMAN WHO WANTS TO BE WHOLE.

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REMEMBER:
YOUR WALLS KEPT YOU SAFE.
BUT NOW THEY’RE KEEPING YOU SEPARATE.
THE YOU THAT’S COMING NEXT
DON’T NEED TO BE HARD —
SHE NEEDS TO BE HONEST.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#2 — Calling Dysfunction ‘Loyalty’

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By Mrs.10

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SOMETIMES, THE HARDEST PEOPLE TO LET GO OF
ARE THE ONES WHO'VE BEEN WITH YOU THE LONGEST.

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BUT LET ME ASK YOU THIS —
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SHRINKING
JUST TO KEEP THE PEACE WITH PEOPLE WHO NEVER OFFER YOU ANY?

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YOU KEEP CALLING IT LOYALTY…
BUT IS IT REALLY LOYALTY?
OR IS IT FEAR?
FEAR OF BEING ALONE.
FEAR OF GUILT.
FEAR OF BEING CALLED “DIFFICULT,”
“SELFISH,”
OR “TOO GOOD FOR US NOW.”

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YOU HOLD ON TO FRIENDSHIPS
THAT DRAIN YOUR SPIRIT.
FAMILY MEMBERS THAT DISRESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES.
PARTNERS WHO LOVE YOUR LIGHT
BUT HATE WHEN YOU SHINE TOO BRIGHT.

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AND YOU STAY.
'CAUSE YOU THINK WALKING AWAY MEANS YOU DON’T LOVE THEM.

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BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WOMAN TO WOMAN:
YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE…
AND STILL PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THEIR DYSFUNCTION.

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YOU CAN FORGIVE THEM…
AND STILL NEVER LET THEM CLOSE TO YOU AGAIN.

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YOU CAN BE LOYAL TO THEIR HEALING
WITHOUT SACRIFICING YOUR OWN.

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'CAUSE LOYALTY THAT DESTROYS YOUR PEACE
ISN’T NOBLE —
IT’S NEGLECT.

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REMEMBER:
YOU AIN’T WRONG FOR OUTGROWING PEOPLE
WHO REFUSE TO GROW.
YOU AIN’T COLD FOR CHOOSING YOUR PEACE OVER PROXIMITY.

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YOUR CIRCLE SHOULD FEED YOU,
NOT STARVE YOU.

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THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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#1 — Believing You Have Unlimited Time to Become Her

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By Mrs.10

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EVERYTHING IN YOU
IS WAITING FOR YOU TO SHOW UP.
BUT YOU KEEP SAYING,
“I’LL GET TO IT WHEN LIFE SLOWS DOWN.”
“WHEN I FEEL READY.”
“WHEN I’M HEALED ENOUGH.”
“WHEN I MEET THE RIGHT PERSON.”
“WHEN I STOP MAKING MISTAKES.”

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BUT TIME?
TIME AIN’T WAITING ON YOU.

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AND WHO YOU’RE MEANT TO BE?
SHE’S GETTING TIRED OF BEING POSTPONED.

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YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT FOREVER
TO START THAT BUSINESS,
TO LEAVE THAT RELATIONSHIP,
TO HEAL THAT WOUND,
TO GROW INTO THE WOMAN YOU KEEP SEEING IN YOUR MIND.

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BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING SOFTLY:
YOU DON’T.

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YOU WON’T ALWAYS HAVE THIS ENERGY.
THIS HUNGER.
THIS YOUTH.
THIS WINDOW.

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AND BECOMING HER —
THE WOMAN YOU PRAYED FOR,
PINNED IN YOUR MOOD BOARDS,
WROTE ABOUT IN YOUR JOURNAL —
SHE REQUIRES action.
She requires now.

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STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT TO EVOLVE.
EVOLVE MESSY IF YOU HAVE TO.
EVOLVE TIRED.
EVOLVE SCARED.
EVOLVE ANYWAY.

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REMEMBER:
THE CLOCK ISN’T YOUR ENEMY.
BUT IT ISN’T YOUR SERVANT EITHER.
YOUR FUTURE NEEDS YOU NOW.

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AND THAT’S THE 10-WAY TO MOVE.

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MRS.10 — OUTRO

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YOU MADE IT TO THE END.
AND IF YOU FELT CALLED OUT,
CONGRATULATIONS —
YOU'RE READY TO CALL YOURSELF UP.

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THIS AIN’T ABOUT PERFECTION.
THIS IS ABOUT PRESENCE.
ABOUT SAYING:
“I DESERVE MORE THAN I’VE BEEN ACCEPTING.”
AND ACTING ACCORDINGLY.

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BECAUSE BEING HER
ISN’T ABOUT A LOOK.
OR A LIFESTYLE.
IT’S ABOUT A STANDARD.
ONE YOU SET —
AND ONE YOU REFUSE TO LOWER.

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SO TAKE THESE 10.
REFLECT ON THEM.
RETURN TO THEM WHEN YOU FORGET WHO YOU ARE.

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AND REMEMBER —
THE WORLD DON’T NEED ANOTHER PRETTY FACE
WITH A LOST SOUL.
THE WORLD NEEDS YOU,
WHOLE. AWAKE. IN YOUR POWER.

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WELCOME TO IN10MACY.
THE JOURNEY BACK TO YOURSELF STARTS HERE.
AND FROM THIS POINT ON —
YOU MOVE LIKE A 10.

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#TOP10

#IN10MACY

#10OUT

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